Another Sleepless Night

Well here I sit at 3 A.M. unable to sleep any more. Again. Believe me I'm not complaining. I'm sure that I will take a lovely nap tomorrow and all will be well. ;)

One of the unfortunate things that happen to me when I become pregnant is that my mind will not stop working. All day and all night I worry, contemplate, and try to sort out the things that are happening around me. I can't seem to turn it off.

1. I'm taking a tour of a new school tomorrow for my kids next year. I've been a little worried about making the wrong decision about what school to send them to. Unfortunately the public schools out by us are not the best and we have a TON of options for charter schools so I'm trying to sort through all of the information and listen to the Spirit. Needless to say it's incredibly confusing.

2.My handicapped sister has to find a new place to live. Now I can't do much about this one but I can't help worry about it.

3. Some of our family is going through a hard financial time right now and I'm trying to think about how to help them. It's still sensitive and I don't want to offend them. I know what I want to do, I just don't know if it's the right timing.

4. I was worried about the baby not being healthy. We had our 20 week ultrasound and everything turned out fine. So I guess I can cross this one off.

5.I have 2 baby shower's coming up for myself. I'm worried people won't come. I know, this one is dumb. I feel so incredibly blessed that I have people that love me and want to do this for me. I am a very lucky girl. You can't help but wonder though, what if no one shows up? I know I'll have fun and make the best of whatever happens, but it would stink a little bit if no one did.

Then after worrying about all of that my mind goes to all of our many blessings that we have received over the last 5 months and I can't help but be overwhelmed and emotional about that too. Dang pregnancy hormones. I honestly don't think I have ever cried this much during a pregnancy. It's almost soothing though. Like I had a build up of fluid and I had to release it. It's weird.

Once I get past the next 2 months things will definitely start to calm down again. I won't feel like I have to be "on" anymore. School will be over, no more shower's, and we can have a fun family vacation planned for CA in June. My parents will hopefully be moved in and my sister too. I want to be able to enjoy June and July before Paisley get's here. It feels like everything has gone by so fast with this pregnancy, which can be looked on as a blessing. But it makes me a little sad too since it will probably be my last one. Sigh.

We'll see. I've learned to never say never and let the Lord do His thing. I still have time to have one more and I'm not sure I should be taking that for granted. It would make things a little more stressful financially and space wise in the house, but if we're supposed to have another one then so be it. I really have little control over that as we have seen with this last pregnancy. :)

I can't believe that I actually typed that last paragraph. Wow. If you had asked me 5 months ago if we were done, I would have said absolutely. Now I can't help but think that Paisley is going to need a friend to play with. Heaven help us. Things might change after Paisley is born though so stay tuned!