It feels a little bit like summer. It registered at 119 degrees in my car yesterday. That was the exterior temperature in case your wondering.
I finally got the kids signed up for swimming lessons and they loved it. I am glad that they can have some normal kid time this summer. They have been at the land with the Mr. and I cleaning up garbage and palm prongs pretty much all summer long. So it's nice to see them having some fun too.
Things are progressing quickly on the house. Everyone says that beginning a house is like pushing a car up a hill. Once the house is framed, it's like the car going downhill. So I'm trying to gear up for all of the stuff that needs to happen now. The framer's should be done by Fri. this week. Then the electrician, plumber, insulation, air conditioning, sheetrock, closets, painting, stucco, cabinets, trim, and doors all have to happen. Oh....... My........ Goodness.
It seems a little overwhelming when you look at the laundry list of things to accomplish. But when it's all happening, it's actually not too bad. You just get it done and it all magically comes together. Well not magically. We've had a lot of help from Heavenly Father. I just hope and pray that when everything is done and we have finally moved in, that we won't look around and wish that we had done things differently. We were walking around the place last night and were pretty grateful and excited about what we had done. But everyone I know that has built a custom home says that there are things that they would have changed. Uggg. I really hope not.
What a labor of love. I have never been so attached to a THING in my entire life. So much energy and emotion has been put into this THING. I think I understand why my Grandpa Standage loved building houses so much. My Grandma told Mr. the other night that if my Grandpa were still here he would have strapped on his tool belt and headed over to our place to work on it. At 85 no less. Crying. I miss that dear man. It would have been amazing to know that his hands were helping to build my dream. Mr. says he feels him sometimes there and at family parties. That's tall cotton right there. (My Gandpa's words)
I can't fully explain my gratitude for these blessings. The last couple of years were so hard fo our little family and I wasn't sure how we were going to get out of it. Heavenly Father has blessed us immensely. I don't know why he has blessed us so greatly, because I feel inadequate and undeserving, but I am incredibly grateful and humbled nonetheless. We have tried to do our best to do what he has asked us to do, but we aren't perfect. Every step of us getting to this point has been guided and inspired and I am in awe of His love for us. This truly is a special home and I will never forget that fact. Thank you Father in Heaven.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Why oh Why?
Building a house is one of the hardest things your marriage could ever go through. Or so people say. I happen to think they are absolutely correct in this statement. Unless you have unlimited funds and no timeline whatsoever, it is a horrible process. I am chomping at the bit to get this house done. School starts August 8th. We have no idea when we are going to have to move out of our current house and we would really like to avoid moving twice if possible.
Our framers were supposed to start last Wed. and got held up because of our lumber package. So now we are behind schedule. Awesome. My hubby and I can't agree on anything. He likes dark colors on just about everything while I am more in the middle. We fight about everything at this point. If you would like to truly test your relationship with someone before you get married....... build a house together. Then you will know what that person is like under extreme circumstances.
Here are the educational lessons my children have picked up this month:
Stress. That is the word for the month. The number of the month is $9,000. That is how much we are OVER budget at this point. The color of the month is Ebony. This is the color my husband picks out for everything. Anyone with half of a brain knows that ebony is black. But he swears it's not that dark. Whatever.
The jetted tub has disappeared also and maybe my hidden laundry baskets in the laundry room. I don't know if I can tile the master bathroom shower or if I have to settle for a hideous vinyl shower surround. I love that crackling sound it makes when you get into the shower. Not really.
So if anyone is seriously thinking about building a house, rethink it. It's difficult, time consuming, mentally and physically exhausting, and before you know it you're in the poorhouse.You will be sitting at Taco Bell getting lunch and suddenly realize that the money you are spending at Taco Bell, could pay for light switch covers. It's ridiculous.
I now dream about paint colors and furniture placement. I used to like to do that. Now I could care less. I think that is the point you ultimately get to. Sad but true. I just want a house that doesn't leak when it rains, won't fall down when the wind blows, and keeps us cool in the summer and warm in the winter. Not too complicated. Right?
We'll see.
Our framers were supposed to start last Wed. and got held up because of our lumber package. So now we are behind schedule. Awesome. My hubby and I can't agree on anything. He likes dark colors on just about everything while I am more in the middle. We fight about everything at this point. If you would like to truly test your relationship with someone before you get married....... build a house together. Then you will know what that person is like under extreme circumstances.
Here are the educational lessons my children have picked up this month:
Stress. That is the word for the month. The number of the month is $9,000. That is how much we are OVER budget at this point. The color of the month is Ebony. This is the color my husband picks out for everything. Anyone with half of a brain knows that ebony is black. But he swears it's not that dark. Whatever.
The jetted tub has disappeared also and maybe my hidden laundry baskets in the laundry room. I don't know if I can tile the master bathroom shower or if I have to settle for a hideous vinyl shower surround. I love that crackling sound it makes when you get into the shower. Not really.
So if anyone is seriously thinking about building a house, rethink it. It's difficult, time consuming, mentally and physically exhausting, and before you know it you're in the poorhouse.You will be sitting at Taco Bell getting lunch and suddenly realize that the money you are spending at Taco Bell, could pay for light switch covers. It's ridiculous.
I now dream about paint colors and furniture placement. I used to like to do that. Now I could care less. I think that is the point you ultimately get to. Sad but true. I just want a house that doesn't leak when it rains, won't fall down when the wind blows, and keeps us cool in the summer and warm in the winter. Not too complicated. Right?
We'll see.
Monday, June 20, 2011
We Hear What We Want To Hear!
Isn't it funny how we can have a full blown conversation with someone and walk away from it hearing something totally different than the other person? This happens to me frequently. I'm trying to really listen to what the people are saying, but the meaning of the conversation is what I come away with. And to make matters worse, the meaning that I got may not be what they meant or really what they said at all. It was what I perceived. Yikes. I'm really preoccupied with watching that person's body language, facial expressions, and if inflections in their voices. They may say one thing, but I don't believe them because everything else is telling me something different.
So now I've decided to just take everything at face value. If you tell me that you're alright, then I'm going to believe you and back off. If you tell me that you don't need any help or don't want dinner that night, I won't do anything. So be careful. Because I'm tired of trying to read people's minds. When you say something, mean it! Don' try to be brave, tough, or macho. If you need help, say so. If you want to be alone, say so. Don't be something that you're not, and don't say things that you don't really mean. They should teach that in church because Mormon's are the worst at this. Especially the women.
A woman could have literally just had a baby and have 3 little kids at home and a husband that works crazy hours, and you could ask her if she would like some dinner, and she would say no. Even though you know that she desperately needs that meal and a million other things too. Why do we do that? Is it a sign of weakness. Like we can't take care of our own responsiblities or something? Or is it because we are so used to serving others that we don't want to be served ourselves? Rubbish. That's what I think.
We need to be served once in awhile. And for those of us with husbands that don't understand that, we need our friends to be there for us. To say ,"Too Bad", and break down our door and bring us dinner's, take our children for the afternoon, and maybe do a load of laundry or two. Let those sweet people into your disgusting house and let them see you in your nursing top and filthy pajamas and let them lift the stress off of you for just a little while. Believe me you can get back to reality soon enough.
So now I've decided to just take everything at face value. If you tell me that you're alright, then I'm going to believe you and back off. If you tell me that you don't need any help or don't want dinner that night, I won't do anything. So be careful. Because I'm tired of trying to read people's minds. When you say something, mean it! Don' try to be brave, tough, or macho. If you need help, say so. If you want to be alone, say so. Don't be something that you're not, and don't say things that you don't really mean. They should teach that in church because Mormon's are the worst at this. Especially the women.
A woman could have literally just had a baby and have 3 little kids at home and a husband that works crazy hours, and you could ask her if she would like some dinner, and she would say no. Even though you know that she desperately needs that meal and a million other things too. Why do we do that? Is it a sign of weakness. Like we can't take care of our own responsiblities or something? Or is it because we are so used to serving others that we don't want to be served ourselves? Rubbish. That's what I think.
We need to be served once in awhile. And for those of us with husbands that don't understand that, we need our friends to be there for us. To say ,"Too Bad", and break down our door and bring us dinner's, take our children for the afternoon, and maybe do a load of laundry or two. Let those sweet people into your disgusting house and let them see you in your nursing top and filthy pajamas and let them lift the stress off of you for just a little while. Believe me you can get back to reality soon enough.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Poor Little Guy
My oldest has been sick for 2 weeks now with a mystery illness. At first I thought he was faking it just to get out of doing his chores, but now I believe him. I took him to the E.R. with bad stomach pains and vomiting. They ran every test they could on him and came up with NOTHING. They said he may have a virus, but that there was nothing that they could do for him. So we came home and the next day he was fine all day until 4:00 pm. This seems to be the pattern now. He will be perfectly fine all day long until late afternoon. Then the stomach pain starts up and he won't eat anything and just lays on the couch in the fetal position. Poor kid.
I picked up Zofran, stool softener, and Tylenol yesterday. We'll see if that helps at all. Hopefully it's not like this for much longer. We are currently trying to get a referral to a G.I. doctor. I'm not sure if they will be able to find anything either, but it's worth a shot. I hope and pray that he can get back to feeling better soon. It's summer for pete's sake. That will be fun for him to tell all of his friends at school when they ask what he did during summer break." I laid on my couch and threw up all summer". Yay!
If anyone has ever had anything like this before and got over, could you let me know what you did to help it along? Thanks.
I picked up Zofran, stool softener, and Tylenol yesterday. We'll see if that helps at all. Hopefully it's not like this for much longer. We are currently trying to get a referral to a G.I. doctor. I'm not sure if they will be able to find anything either, but it's worth a shot. I hope and pray that he can get back to feeling better soon. It's summer for pete's sake. That will be fun for him to tell all of his friends at school when they ask what he did during summer break." I laid on my couch and threw up all summer". Yay!
If anyone has ever had anything like this before and got over, could you let me know what you did to help it along? Thanks.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Wow.
Wow. Is my life really just about yelling at my kids all of time? I literally feel like that is all I do in a day. I have tried to calmly talk to them and help them understand why I need them to do something but it doesn't work. They just keep on doing whatever it is that they want to do, and completely ignore me. Or they say," Okay mom." and then never do what I asked them to do. The only time I get results is when I'm am in their faces yelling, threatening, and taking away every possible thing that they love in this world. Sigh.
It's exhausting. Take today for example. We have not been home for a week and the house is nasty. I designated today and clean up day. I told the kids that they were not allowed to play with friends until their chores are done. I asked them to begin by dumping their toys out and organizing them. What are they doing? Playing with their toys. There is no organizing happening. I just told them that they were going to have extra chores now. They don't care. I am super afraid that the day is going to end with spankings and groundings. I have tried the reward charts, praising, taking away privileges, yelling, telling them that I am going to give them away to the next person that comes to the door, and nothing works.I am exhausted.
I have tried to teach my children to take care of their things so we don't have a messy house. But since we have been basically living out of boxes for the last 4 months it's pretty hard to keep everything neat and tidy. They have definitely developed some bad habits. They don't clean up after themselves anymore. They can't even understand that when the laundry is clean and folded it needs to make it's journey to their drawers. Strange idea, I know. It's really getting out of hand.
I'm really afraid that when we move into the new house that they are going to trash the place. We have worked so hard on it and I am not willing to let them ruin it.
It's exhausting. Take today for example. We have not been home for a week and the house is nasty. I designated today and clean up day. I told the kids that they were not allowed to play with friends until their chores are done. I asked them to begin by dumping their toys out and organizing them. What are they doing? Playing with their toys. There is no organizing happening. I just told them that they were going to have extra chores now. They don't care. I am super afraid that the day is going to end with spankings and groundings. I have tried the reward charts, praising, taking away privileges, yelling, telling them that I am going to give them away to the next person that comes to the door, and nothing works.I am exhausted.
I have tried to teach my children to take care of their things so we don't have a messy house. But since we have been basically living out of boxes for the last 4 months it's pretty hard to keep everything neat and tidy. They have definitely developed some bad habits. They don't clean up after themselves anymore. They can't even understand that when the laundry is clean and folded it needs to make it's journey to their drawers. Strange idea, I know. It's really getting out of hand.
I'm really afraid that when we move into the new house that they are going to trash the place. We have worked so hard on it and I am not willing to let them ruin it.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Recently a family member has been having some pretty horrific trials in their life. They have had an amazing life though. Filled with marriage, children, traveling the globe, serving their country, loving and caring for others.But within the last 6 weeks has been dealt a horrendous blow. Without being specific about the nature of the trial because I would like to respect their privacy, I will explain how this person has affected me.
I don't have many members of family on my father's side. The people that I have been privileged to know on this side are incredible, amazing people. They are tough, strong, fighters who don't know the word quit. They are giving and selfless. They love people. They have traveled the globe being exposed to all different kinds of cultures and have embraced each one. They are truly one of a kind.
We see eachother only a few times a year, but when we get together it's home to me. They hug you, genuinely want to know how you are doing, and don't want you to leave too soon. So why do bad things have to happen to them?
I know that none of us are exempt from trials, unfortunately. We all knew exactly what we were getting into when we agreed to come to this earth. The saddest part is that we don't remember. I believe that our merciful Heavenly Father showed us exactly what trials we would be given here before we came. We agreed to the terms and were sent to earth with the veil drawn over our memories so we would all be tested equally. It gives a tiny bit of comfort to know that our Heavenly Father loved us and didn't assign us anything that we couldn't handle. Although at times it seems unbearable.
This time it is overwhelmingly hard to bear. Even with the knowledge that we have. We want the people we love to be with us always. Near us, cheering us on in the flesh, and hugging us when we need it the most. It's selfish really. I guess that's why we have funerals. It's for those that are left behind so we can remember that person and say goodbye. When in reality the person that has moved on is free from illness, deformed bodies that don't do what they want them to do, and emotional pain.What a merciful Father in Heaven.
Sometimes it's hard to take the knowledge that we have and translate it to our hearts. To convince our hearts that it's okay even though that person is leaving or gone. To convince it that we will be able to carry on and that it won't hurt so much, someday. I know time lessens pain. I have had experience with that. But it never fully goes away. It leaves it's imprint on your heart and forever changes how you view life, death, and love. I am forever grateful for the family that I was blessed to be born into. They have been incredible examples of kindness, love, gratitude, and strength of character. They stood firm in doing what was right, even when no one was looking. They never sought praise or recognition. They quietly went about doing good.
I love this person dearly. As they begin this journey, I want to take the burden from them so badly. I know that they wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I don't want to see them suffer. I pray that the Lord will grant them this tender mercy as they continue on this path. I feel helpless to do anything to help them. They have a good support system of loving family members surrounding them, but I wish I could do something. Anything.
May the Lord grant me the peace to accept the things I can't change.
The strength to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
I don't have many members of family on my father's side. The people that I have been privileged to know on this side are incredible, amazing people. They are tough, strong, fighters who don't know the word quit. They are giving and selfless. They love people. They have traveled the globe being exposed to all different kinds of cultures and have embraced each one. They are truly one of a kind.
We see eachother only a few times a year, but when we get together it's home to me. They hug you, genuinely want to know how you are doing, and don't want you to leave too soon. So why do bad things have to happen to them?
I know that none of us are exempt from trials, unfortunately. We all knew exactly what we were getting into when we agreed to come to this earth. The saddest part is that we don't remember. I believe that our merciful Heavenly Father showed us exactly what trials we would be given here before we came. We agreed to the terms and were sent to earth with the veil drawn over our memories so we would all be tested equally. It gives a tiny bit of comfort to know that our Heavenly Father loved us and didn't assign us anything that we couldn't handle. Although at times it seems unbearable.
This time it is overwhelmingly hard to bear. Even with the knowledge that we have. We want the people we love to be with us always. Near us, cheering us on in the flesh, and hugging us when we need it the most. It's selfish really. I guess that's why we have funerals. It's for those that are left behind so we can remember that person and say goodbye. When in reality the person that has moved on is free from illness, deformed bodies that don't do what they want them to do, and emotional pain.What a merciful Father in Heaven.
Sometimes it's hard to take the knowledge that we have and translate it to our hearts. To convince our hearts that it's okay even though that person is leaving or gone. To convince it that we will be able to carry on and that it won't hurt so much, someday. I know time lessens pain. I have had experience with that. But it never fully goes away. It leaves it's imprint on your heart and forever changes how you view life, death, and love. I am forever grateful for the family that I was blessed to be born into. They have been incredible examples of kindness, love, gratitude, and strength of character. They stood firm in doing what was right, even when no one was looking. They never sought praise or recognition. They quietly went about doing good.
I love this person dearly. As they begin this journey, I want to take the burden from them so badly. I know that they wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I don't want to see them suffer. I pray that the Lord will grant them this tender mercy as they continue on this path. I feel helpless to do anything to help them. They have a good support system of loving family members surrounding them, but I wish I could do something. Anything.
May the Lord grant me the peace to accept the things I can't change.
The strength to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Blogging the Journey
I know that I will look back on this time in my life and think," How did we make it through?" My husband is working a full time job, running a property management and real estate company, and being a general contractor on our new house. He leaves at 5:00 am, and doesn't come home until 8:00 pm every night. Wow. I have 3 rambunctious boys at home, run a catering business, run errands for the new house, cook clean, do laundry, entertain the kiddos, and am now on the Relief Society committee. Needless to say, a slowdown will be a welcome change in a few months.
So blogging about this journey I think will be important to future posterity. They can see that Grandma and Grandpa didn't always have it so easy. Good thing we are young while all of this is happening.
So we got our building permit approved May 30, 2011. We worked on our house pad for 2 weeks and had the rough plumb put in June 4, 2011. We passed the inspection and are now digging footer trenches around the interior perimeter of the house to pour concrete for our monolythig pour. We also hired someone to put down gravel and rebar over the rough plumb. We ordered our vinyl windows yesterday and they should arrive on June 23rd. Our tile hasn't come in yet, but should be sometime today or tomorrow.
We should be able to start framing the place in 2 weeks and the framer's said it should only take 3 days to finish that. The we have a drywall guy lined up and ready to go. The only thing we need is an electrician and we already have 3 bids to look over.
It's all happening pretty fast. If we're lucky we might be able to be in by August. School starts August 8th so if we could be in there by then, we would be so blessed.
We have already been blessed more than we could ever imagine! We got over that ilness in record time and I got a new church calling that was tailor made for me. Chad's work is going pretty well, and we will have a place to live in 3-4 months!
So blogging about this journey I think will be important to future posterity. They can see that Grandma and Grandpa didn't always have it so easy. Good thing we are young while all of this is happening.
So we got our building permit approved May 30, 2011. We worked on our house pad for 2 weeks and had the rough plumb put in June 4, 2011. We passed the inspection and are now digging footer trenches around the interior perimeter of the house to pour concrete for our monolythig pour. We also hired someone to put down gravel and rebar over the rough plumb. We ordered our vinyl windows yesterday and they should arrive on June 23rd. Our tile hasn't come in yet, but should be sometime today or tomorrow.
We should be able to start framing the place in 2 weeks and the framer's said it should only take 3 days to finish that. The we have a drywall guy lined up and ready to go. The only thing we need is an electrician and we already have 3 bids to look over.
It's all happening pretty fast. If we're lucky we might be able to be in by August. School starts August 8th so if we could be in there by then, we would be so blessed.
We have already been blessed more than we could ever imagine! We got over that ilness in record time and I got a new church calling that was tailor made for me. Chad's work is going pretty well, and we will have a place to live in 3-4 months!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
I Can't Believe This Really Happened!!!!
So I just spent a marvelous weekend with my children and parents! It was really more like 6 days and 5 nights at my favorite place in the whole wide world. Prescott. I love that place! It's got the old charm of the 1800's, mixed with the more new malls and cute little shops. I bought my wedding china there, I met the man of my dreams there, I honeymooned there, and I've been there for my birthday for the last 14 years. Yeah, it's a pretty special place.
This vacation was wonderful. I read 4 books, went on 2 quad rides, went shopping, cooked, ate, and totally relaxed. It was the best. I am so grateful that I am not hard to please. It makes it so much better when people do nice things for you. Thank you everybody! It was the best birthday ever! Even if I'm no longer a 20 something anymore.
When I got home from my hiadous, I found our new dirt pad surrounded by wooden forms ready and waiting to have concrete poured on it. Oh my! I was so excited! I honestly can't believe that I am going to have the house of my dreams and my amazing husband is making it all happen. I love him soooooo much! What a harrowing experience though. I don't think I have ever run this many errands in my whole married life! We are literally living off of pizza, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and gatorade. Awesome.
Just got a catering job for a reception of 200. An old customer of mine (she bought my dinner's) called me up and asked me if i could do her daughter's reception! Isn't that awesome? I am decorating and doing food so it should be fun! I met her and he fiancee' last night and they were very fun to get to know. I love doing this for a job. I get to make people's special day yummy and pretty! It's the best. My cousin Adele is doing the flowers. http://www.adeleheslingtonphotography.blogspot.com/. Once I move in and get settled into the new house I will update my catering blog. Hopefully I can get more catering jobs. http://www.eventdesserts.blogspot.com/
That's all for now. I need to go make a nutritious lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with Gatorade. Maybe I'll branch out and make chicken nuggets instead. Gourmet, I know.
This vacation was wonderful. I read 4 books, went on 2 quad rides, went shopping, cooked, ate, and totally relaxed. It was the best. I am so grateful that I am not hard to please. It makes it so much better when people do nice things for you. Thank you everybody! It was the best birthday ever! Even if I'm no longer a 20 something anymore.
When I got home from my hiadous, I found our new dirt pad surrounded by wooden forms ready and waiting to have concrete poured on it. Oh my! I was so excited! I honestly can't believe that I am going to have the house of my dreams and my amazing husband is making it all happen. I love him soooooo much! What a harrowing experience though. I don't think I have ever run this many errands in my whole married life! We are literally living off of pizza, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and gatorade. Awesome.
Just got a catering job for a reception of 200. An old customer of mine (she bought my dinner's) called me up and asked me if i could do her daughter's reception! Isn't that awesome? I am decorating and doing food so it should be fun! I met her and he fiancee' last night and they were very fun to get to know. I love doing this for a job. I get to make people's special day yummy and pretty! It's the best. My cousin Adele is doing the flowers. http://www.adeleheslingtonphotography.blogspot.com/. Once I move in and get settled into the new house I will update my catering blog. Hopefully I can get more catering jobs. http://www.eventdesserts.blogspot.com/
That's all for now. I need to go make a nutritious lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with Gatorade. Maybe I'll branch out and make chicken nuggets instead. Gourmet, I know.
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