4 1/2 months and counting!!!!

I can not believe that I only have 4 1/2 months left in my pregnancy. It literally has flown by. What a blessing!!! The first 3 months were spent on bed rest with constant nausea and vomiting as a companion. The second trimester has followed with no weight gain as of yet and a lot of sleeplessness accompanied with sinus infections and headaches. But I truly feel as though it's been a breeze. My reaction to my trials have been so incredibly different this time. I feel as though I'm being shielded from frustration and feeling down about it. I'm not sure if it's me doing that or if it's Heavenly Father.

This entire pregnancy I have felt a calmness. A serenity that has sort of enveloped me and helped carry me through this process. Normally I would have had everything bought, washed, and folded by now for this baby but the urgency hasn't been there. I have felt like I have all the time in the world and that she's going to be fine. It's been incredibly strange but a blessing too.

I have shared a few times here about the last 7 years of my life and about all of the trials and hard times that me and my little family have faced. But what I hope people get out of reading my thoughts is that blessings most assureadley come after the trials.

I was talking with a girl in my ward tonight about this pregnancy. She reminded me of a time when I was asked to share my testimony in Relief Society about when my testimony became "real" to me. I shared about my struggles to stay pregnant and then to become pregnant. I shared about how we lived out of boxes for 8 months while preparing to lose our home and not knowing where we were going to live. I shared about how depressed and angry I got while going through these trials. But then, I shared about how the blessings began to flow through my life and how I felt that my prayers had truly been heard and answered. It took a long time for them to be answered, but none the less I felt as though they flowed so freely that it was like sand running through my fingers. Too many to count.

We went through this ordeal for 7 years. 7 long years. My mind goes back to Joseph of Egypt when he received his dream about the 7 years of feast and then the 7 years of famine. The lessons that we learned during those 7 years are irreplaceable. We learned that when things are going well, save and prepare for when they aren't. Always be prepared for the worst and enjoy it when it's the best.

We never know what trials life may bring us. We don't know when blessings will come. But I do know that we are not asked to do anything alone. We're not asked to bear our trials by ourselves and that if our faith can hold, then we will be blessed for it.

I am so overwhelmed with gratitude for this beautiful little girl that we've been given. If she looks anything like her brother's, she's going to be gorgeous. I am such a lucky girl. I have healthy, intelligent, capable, boys that surprise me every day. I love that they are each other's best friends. I love that they are so excited about Paisley joining our family that they are counting her birth as something exciting happening before school starts. We have a beautiful roof over our head that we helped build with the help of Heavenly Father. We are paying our bills. We have food on the table. We have health insurance. We have working cars. We have family and friends that love and support us. And so much more.

Sometimes we need to be knocked down and have everything taken away from us in order for us to appreciate what we are given.