Humbled yet?

The more I talk to people about this pregnancy the more I realize that I tell them that this pegnancy has been very humbling. You don't usually thing of the words pregnancy and humbling together but that's what it has been for me. Let me explain.

Before I found out that I was pregnant, I was finally getting comfortable and grateful for the calmness and peace that had come into my life. We had been through a lot and now we were in our new house, I had a great new night job that was helping us out financially, and all of my kids were healthy. Everything was going great! 2013 was supposed to be an awesome year.

Now here I sit, pregnant, sick, and frustrated. Believe me, I'm not complaining. We had tried for 3 years to become pregnant and nothing happened. So this baby is definitely a recognized blessing. What I'm muddling through is the fact that I'm not in control of my life. That has been a very hard pill to swallow. And a very humbling one too.

I have been so sick. I can't cook meals, clean bathrooms, work too hard at night, do laundry, or go more than two hours without eating. Every smell imagineable makes me want to barf. It's been extremely hard. How can I go from having an immaculate house, dinner on the table every night, working a night job, and having it all together, to not getting out of my pajamas all day long? It's been a lot to deal with in a short period of time. All of a sudden I feel like a lazy useless person. I can't function. When I try and force myself to do something, there is usually hell that follows.

I am trying to have faith that this will get better. I have one more month until my second trimester starts. Hopefully all of this will disappear by then. I'm ready to get back to the way things were.