Quiet Confidence

As I have said before on many previous posts, I'm grateful for the challenges I have been given, and for the blessings that have followed them. They may not be the blessings that I would have chosen, but they are still wonderful none the less.

As I was sitting in church on Sunday I was feeling extremely happy. Anyone who has been reading this blog knows that going to church has been really hard for me lately. There are a few women who have been less than nice and gracious to me and I really have been struggling. One of them was speaking at the pulpit and as I was listening to her an overwhelming feeling of peace and pity came over me. I actually felt sorry for her. Anyone who could behave in such a way deserved my pity not my hate and frustration. She was obviously threatened by me for reasons that I can't even understand, but she was. I processed the last 6 months and realized that I had tried to reach out to her on numerous occasions (even though I was the one being attacked by her.) She hasn't reached out once. Hmmm.

So I'm going to just keep on doing what I've been doing. Going about my days, being kind to everyone, putting effort into the relationships that mean something to me, and having the quiet confidence that I have. That is where the blessings come in. The peace that I felt in church on Sunday was amazing. I have really struggled with forgiving and forgetting. It wasn't so much that I was attacked, it was more that I really couldn't believe that grown women still behave that way. It was very disturbing. I think that was the hardest part of the whole thing for me to get over. But when I stopped thinking about it and ignored them, the peace came. The quiet confidence of knowing that I'm not like them and that I would never do anything like that to anyone, and that I don't need to stoop to their level. Which is pretty low.

I am very grateful for a Heavenly Father that is aware of me. Even for the insignificant concerns of my daily life. And this concern that has been bothering me so much is pretty insignificant. My husband has been pretty amazing as well. I am very grateful for his support and love during this hard time. He didn't make me feel stupid for feeling upset and stuck up for me numerous times. I love him dearly. He really made the difference.

I am very excited to say that this is the last post I will be doing about this particular subject.