Putting Things Into Perspective

I have a wonderful friend that is embarking on an amazing journey in her life that typically doesn't happen when you're in your mid thirties with kids. She's getting remarried! I LOVE that! I don't know about everyone else out there but I love, LOVE!

I generally don't think about what it would be like to re marry after having your marriage fall apart, but it definitely put things into perspective for me regarding my own marriage. One thing that I've noticed for sure is the need for respect. It goes both ways. One side can't be so burnt out from pleasing the other side that they feel depleted and left lonely. I would hope that in an ideal situation both sides would be so concerned about the other that they make that person feel replenished, loved, and respected.

Communication: Another light bulb moment came a few days ago when Mr. D asked my opinion on something. I just about fell over! I felt respected. Like what I had to say about the matter, mattered! It was amazing. It goes hand in hand with the whole showing respect thing. If you care about someone, then you'll care about what they think and feel. Amazing. The communication factor is huge in a marriage. Especially for women. I want to break a situation down and figure out how we got there, and how to get it back on track. Mr. D. not so much. But that is a very common characteristic of men. IF you do happen to be married to a communicator, then you are a very lucky woman. Men generally don't want to fix what ain't broke. If something is broken, then they want to have a solution and be done. That's okay. After all we are from two different planets.

The last thing that has come into focus is romance. I love it. I want "us" time.When there is no other distractions to take us away from each other's zone's. But here's the catch, my husband is tired! I mean really tired. Poor guy. So here's what ends up happening. Back rubs for him so he can fall asleep, nice meals being made by me for him, and quick phone calls throughout the day making sure that he's having an okay day. Sigh. But guess what? I'm the one he turns to for just about everything and I feel needed and important. Every once in awhile he'll call me from Costco and go shopping for me. I love that! There's a saying that we ruin our already wonderful lives with visions of what it should be like. Hmm. Very true.

Finding a positive twist on the things that are happening in our lives is a challenge sometimes but well worth the effort. It's not being delusional, it's choosing to find happiness in our current situations. Whatever they may be. And that's all I have to say about that!