Ha! I love it when people look at me and tell me that I am so tough and that I am a really organized girl that has it all figured out. And yes, people do tell me that. But internally I am laughing, crying, and screaming for a little help!
I have officially become the mom that tells her boys to shut up. I am dreadful. I hate those words but it seems to be the only two words that gives me a few moments of blissful silence before they begin screaming and fighting. I have tried time out, grounding, taking away favorite toys and video games. I am exhausted.
And honestly, I have the right to feel the way I feel with everything that's been happening. I have no idea how I get through the days. I take that back. I do know. I feel as though I am physically being carried. Like someone is behind me picking me up under my arms and carrying throughout my exhaustively nasty days and carrying me home to make dinner for my family. Who by the way have been complaining about my menu choices. The nerve. They are lucky to get anything at this point! Sandwiches are a delicacy at this stage in the game.
It does make me laugh though that other people seem to think those things about me. If I were to look at myself through someone else's eyes I would think:
1.Doesn't she EVER put makeup on?
2. Does she own a hair straightener? Cause yikes!
3. Her kids are hellions. Doesn't she discipline them?
4. Her house is disgusting. Why doesn't she clean it?
5. Is that a Christmas wreath STILL on her front door?
6. Can't she just throw something in the crock pot for dinner instead of scrounging for something for dinner?
Hee hee! I am giving myself permission to not care for the moment. I don't care that I don't "get ready" every day, or that I have so much laundry to do that I can't open my laundry room door, or that I don't make a presentable dinner every night and that sandwiches of every kind are perfectly fine for me. Yep, that's just fine by me.
My husband just called me to see why all of my car doors are hanging wide open and no one is outside. I guess a neighbor called him to see if everything was alright. Well........ The car doors are hanging wide open because I had to run to the feed store to pick up horse pellets, get gas, run home, feed the animals, water the animals, make egg salad sandwiches for dinner, help one child with a book report, and pay bills. Ummmm, yeah. That's why. I was a little preoccupied.
So, I'm not organized, clean, cute, tough, or clear headed at the moment. I am scatter brained, tired, frustrated, and weak, and I NEED A VACATION!
I think given your present circumstances you are entitled to all of the above and are doing stellar! You take a deep breath, keep making those sammies for dinner and just get moved in. No one has it all together, I for sure don't! :)
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